I don't spend a lot of time thanking Tesco's for anything, but this is Christmas and they have provided me with two Christmas presents.
The first has nothing to do with whips, ponies, chariots or any of the topics that normally occupy my mind. Tesco chose "The Fairytale of NewYork"
But Tesco's have chosen to play just the music which gives us all the perfect Christmas Game of pin the lyric on the donkey. Which lyric, from Fairytale of New York, in your opinion, best describes Tesco?
But the second present is back to an old Christmas theme of mine, All I want for Christmas is a whip. I wrote this in December 2008 just before I got Obama, and put the principles into practice.
Thanks to Tesco I can safely say this is crap.
Tescos have three whips available, basically you can have hats, gloves, jodhpurs to keep your kids safe and warm, and whips for them to hit the pony.
There is the standard riding crop for £4, which every pony will see as stunning value, the Harry Hall Glitter crop which makes being hit a real visual experience as the glitter whistles through the air, and the
TESCO HEAVY DUTY RIDING CROP BLACK.
OK, this is the other Christmas game. If the crop is just for signalling, why do you need a heavy duty version? This isn't Tesco's fault, they aren't a horsey operation, they just got in a "professional horse person" who told them this is what you need. So WHY do you need the HEAVY DUTY WHIP???
I will be back to this issue until Tesco get rid of whips, and the equestrian establishment stop pretending the whip is a signalling system. It is for hitting horses. That is why you need the heavy duty version, because the standard one is only capable of signalling, not of doing its job, flagellation.
Tesco. Please do the decent thing. Let some ponies and horses enjoy a civilised relationship. Try asking yourselves, not some "equestrian expert" what other animals you would sell whips for, and then ask what ponies have done to deserve this unique status. And Obama will be visiting your Exeter store to find out if the whips are still on the shelves.
Just sent this email to Tesco Corporate responsibility.